My object all sublime I shall achieve in time...
Author: W. S. Gilbert

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.
Author: John Kenneth Galbraith

The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom...
Author: Bell Hooks

The more I give myself permission to live in the moment and enjoy it without feeling guilty or judgmental about any other time, the better I feel about the quality of my work.
Author: Wayne Dyer

The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
Author: Arthur Koestler

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. "You were perfectly right. "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell. "Marry him anyway, dear." the Mother said. "Between the two of us, we'll show him just how *wrong* he is."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: "Quick! My husband is back!" Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: "Shit! But I am the husband!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes