If thou desire the love of God and man, be humble, for the proud heart, as it loves none but itself, is beloved of none but itself. Humility enforces where neither virtue, nor strength, nor reason can prevail.
Author: Francis Quarles

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
Author: Doug Larson

The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.
Author: Sir William Preece

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Author: Matt Groening

The argument that making contraceptives available to young people would prevent teen pregnancies is ridiculous. That's like offering a cookbook as a cure to people who are trying to lose weight.
Author: Jerry Falwell

Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden? He wanted to raise some hard cash.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the stupid woodworm? He was found in a brick.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

I don't know what it is that makes you stupid but whatever it is, it works.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player? His horse drowned . . .
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes