Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them.
Author: John Ruskin

No computer network with pretty graphics can ever replace the salespeople that make our society work.
Author: Clifford Stoll

The man who runs may fight again.
Author: Menander

The measure of a master is his success in bringing all men around to his opinion twenty years later.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.
Author: Mitchell Burgess

In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and couldn't bear passing her by. He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, "There, little lady, that's done!" "Quiet," she ordered him. "You'll wake up my husband. He's taking a nap in the back seat."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Husband: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body? Wife: Your sense of humor.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident." The stranger says, "If you need two hundred dollars, what are you using to gamble with?" The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste he shivered and replied: "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At her wedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. None of the other women in the office even noticed. Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said "Boy !!! It's so warm in here today, I think I'll take off my ring."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes