
The mind is slow to unlearn what it learnt early.
Author: Seneca
Resolve to edge in a little reading every day, if it is but a single sentence. If you gain fifteen minutes a day, it will make itself felt at the end of the year.
Author: Horace Mann
The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else.
Author: Martina Navratilova
I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic.
Author: Lisa Alther
If a man withdraws his mind from the love of beauty, and applies it as sincerely to the love of the virtuous; if, in serving his parents, he can exert his utmost strength; if, in serving his prince, he can devote his life; if in his intercourse with his f
Author: Confucius

"Get this." said the bloke to his mates,
"Last night while I was
down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke
into my house.
"Did he get anything." his mates asked.
"yeah, a
broken jaw and six teeth knocked out. The wife thought it was
me
coming home drunk."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
The angry wife met her husband at the door.
His breath stunk of
alcohol and his face was plastered with
lipstick. "I assume," she
barked, "there is a very good reason for you to
come drifting in
at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is!" he
replied, "Breakfast."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
Miles Dobson was away from home on business
in another city. When he
called home, his wife told him, "Miles,
they had your name in the
obits
today."
"What! In the
obituary column! That's not only disgraceful but bad
journalism. I'll
sue 'em."
"Tell me, Miles," his wife asked tremulously,
"wh...wh...where are
you
calling from?"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
The couple was dining out when the wife
noticed a familiar face at the
bar. "Elliot," she said, pointing "do
you see that man downing
bourbon at
the bar?"
The husband
looked over and nodded. "Well," the woman continued,
"he's
been
drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!"
The
husband returned to his meal. "Nonsense," he said, "even that's
not
worth so much celebrating!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
An English professor wrote the words, "woman
without her man is a savage"
on the blackboard and directed his
students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman,
without her man, is a savage."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her,
man is a savage."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes