The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.
Author: Mitchell Burgess

The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Author: Brendan Gill

I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.
Author: Oscar Wilde

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
Author: Sir Richard Francis Burton

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning." "What is she doing?", the pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been so "matter-of-fact" about the whole thing all during the trial. "Mrs. Roth," he began, "was there any point that morning where you felt pity for your husband ?" "Well... yeah... I guess..." she replied. "And when was that?" pressed the attorney. "Well...," she replied, "when he asked for his third cup."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living. I think I'm gonna top myself." "Don't be stupid, Joe," said the psychiatrist. "My wife ran off and left me too, yet I'm happy." "How?" asked Joe. "Easy," replied the quack. "I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?" "I clean out septic tanks." Joe replied.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked up behind an older woman, covered her eyes with his hands, and said, "I'm going to kiss you if you can't tell me who I am in three guesses." She quickly answered, "George Washington! Thomas Jefferson! Abraham Lincoln!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. "OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind me" and he stepps into the closet. At that time the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman. Husband: "What the hell are you doing here!" Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes