It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
Author: P. G. Wodehouse

There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love.
Author: Christopher Morley

There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
Author: Bertrand Russell

There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.
Author: Georges Clemenceau

The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."
This is the joke from a category: Restaurant jokes

Sign at restaurant reads: Eat here diet home
This is the joke from a category: Restaurant jokes

The out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife. The next morning, the manager asked the novice how he made out. Well," the man began, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked her if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said 'Yes.' Then I asked her 'why ?' She replied, 'Because I love you'."
This is the joke from a category: Salesmen jokes

A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, "Wait, Fellow! Please don't do that !!!" The salesman said, "Why not ?" and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics. Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.
This is the joke from a category: Salesmen jokes

Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here's got room in their houses for a mammoth.
This is the joke from a category: Salesmen jokes