The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent.
Author: John Maynard Keynes

The meanest, most contemptible kind of praise is that which first speaks well of a man, and then qualifies it with a "but".
Author: Henry Ward Beecher

The meek shall inherit the earth? Well... I don't think so. If by meek you mean friendly and introverted, okay maybe, but if by meek you mean unwilling to take a chance, then never. If I was a betting man and I had to wager on who I thought would inherit
Author: Jim Coudal

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.
Author: E. B. White

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract.
Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher. "Are you a friend of the bride ?" he asked. "Certainly not," she snapped, "I'm the groom's mother."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. The husband tells the detective, he wants both a written account and as many videos of her in any kind of compromising situations as the man can get. Two weeks later the detective calls the man and tells him he has all the evidence he needs. They make an appointment for a meeting. The two of them are sitting there watching the videos. The man sees his wife meeting another man, then the two of them are walking in the park laughing. Another series shows her with a different man laughing and dancing. All together, he watches a dozen or so different activities, each with a different man, each time both she and the man are sharing obvious utter glee. "Amazing," said the shocked husband, "simply amazing ! I just can't believe it." "What can't you believe ?" asked the detective, "It's all right there for you to see, plus I have all the times and dates in my log." "I know, I know!" said the man, still in shock, "I just can't believe my wife could be that much fun."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?" "I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract'," was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, "help, help, I am having a heart attack", the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run up to him and says "daddy, daddy, there is a naked man in the closet", husband opens the closet door and sees his friend Bob. He yells at Bob, "Bob, god damn it, my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scare the kids"!!!
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes