I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.
Author: Garry Trudeau

If you wish in this world to advance, your merits you're bound to enhance; You must stir it and stump it, and blow your own trumpet, or trust me, you haven't a chance.
Author: W. S. Gilbert

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
Author: James M. Barrie

Those who control their passions do so because their passions are weak enough to be controlled.
Author: William Blake

The unspoken word never does harm.
Author: Kossuth

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ? They got jellygated !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Q: What did the football say to the football player? A: I get a kick out of you.
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ..." The Indianan said, "Old MacDonald had a carburetor." "Sorry," said the MC. "That's incorrect." "Old MacDonald had a flat tire," said the Kentuckian. "Wrong," said the host. "Old MacDonald had a farm," said the West Virginian. "That's correct!" shouted the MC. "Now for $200,000, spell farm." The West Virginian thought hard and then spelled carefully: "E-I-E-I-O."
This is the joke from a category: Spelling jokes

Luke had it first, Paul had it lost; boys never had it; girls have it but once; Miss Polly had it twice in the same place, but when she married Peter Jones she never had it again. What is it? The letter L.
This is the joke from a category: Spelling jokes