Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record.
Author: Tom Masson

Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
Author: Oscar Wilde

This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Author: William Shakespeare

Many people weigh the guilt they will feel against the pleasure of the forbidden action they want to take.
Author: Peter McWilliams

The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is not emotional.
Author: Oscar Wilde

Who won the race between two balls of string? They we're tied!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. "Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches." "I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today. "I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned.
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life. "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus. "Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!" "No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes