Best Cell Phones

Jean Paul Sartre says in "No Exit" that hell is other people. Well, our task in life is to make it heaven. Or at least earth.
Author: Alan Alda

It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.
Author: Seneca

Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you.
Author: Lisa Alther

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.
Author: Hugh Elliott

Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Author: Mark Twain

Q: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, They don't make Pampers small enough.
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

Q: What's pink and red and can't turn round in a corridor? A: A baby with a javellin through its head.
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother.
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

A man is in a bar having a drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks up the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off again. This time he picks the guy up and asks, ''Where do you live?'' Being a kind soul, the man takes the guy to his car, puts him in the back seat, and drives him home. When they get to the guy's house, the man helps the guy out of the car, but he falls down 3 times before getting to the front door. The man rings the doorbell and the guy's wife comes to the door. The man says, ''Hello, I've brought your husband home.'' The wife looks at the man and asks, ''Where's his wheel chair?''
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him. The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?" The bartender quickly replies -, "The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!