Best Cell Phones

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
Author: Tom Lehrer

Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists.
Author: Norman Mailer

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
Author: e e cummings

One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.
Author: Oscar Wilde

One cannot conceive anything so strange and so implausible that it has not already been said by one philosopher or another.
Author: Rene Descartes

Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very bright.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled? A: Now it's got two left wings.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: If Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized, who would be saved? A: The United States of America!
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone? A: He turned into Hillary!
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Bill Clinton is writing his memoirs. They're called "The Johnson Years".
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes