Best Cell Phones

Hold a book in your hand and you're a pilgrim at the gates of a new city.
Author: Anne Michaels

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
Author: Mitch Albom

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Author: Doug Larson

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.
Author: Don Marquis

Honesty is the only way with anyone, when you'll be so close as to be living inside each other's skins.
Author: Lois McMaster Bujold

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them." Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ? A common tater !
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

An honest weatherman says, "Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes