Best quotes to send by SMS
Israel Salanter Promote yourself, but do not demote another.
Author: Israel Salanter

Lawana Blackwell Propriety was a rigid master, but one that must be obeyed if one wanted to keep a sterling reputation.
Author: Lawana Blackwell

L. M. Montgomery Proverbs are all very fine when there's nothing to worry you, but when you're in real trouble, they're not a bit of help.
Author: L. M. Montgomery

Ronald Reagan How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
Author: Ronald Reagan

Baltasar Gracian Put yourself on view. This brings your talents to light.
Author: Baltasar Gracian

The best jokes to send by SMS
Dirty jokes Q: Why is being in the military like a blow job? A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes Q: What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? A: Both can smell it but can't eat it.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes One day there was two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Divorce jokes A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

Divorce jokes Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes