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Justice delayed is democracy denied.
Author: Robert F. Kennedy

Justice is the end of government. It is the end of civil society. It ever has been and ever will be pursued until it be obtained, or until liberty be lost in the pursuit. In a society under the forms of which the stronger faction can readily unite and opp
Author: Alexander Hamilton

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Author: Mark Twain

Keep writing. Keep doing it and doing it. Even in the moments when it's so hurtful to think about writing.
Author: Heather Armstrong

Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos - the trees, the clouds, everything.
Author: Thich Nhat Hanh

"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. 'Why, of course,' comes the reply. The first man then asks, 'Where are you from?' 'I'm from Ireland,' replies the second man. The first man responds by saying, 'You don't say. I'm from Ireland too. Let's have another round to Ireland.' 'Of course,' replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks, 'Where in Ireland are you from?' 'Dublin,' comes the reply. 'I can't believe it,' says the first man, 'I'm from Dublin too. Let's have another drink to Dublin.' 'Of course,' replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, 'What school did you go to?' 'St Mary's,' replies the second man, 'I graduated in 1962.' 'This is unbelievable,' the first man says. 'I went to St Mary's and I graduated in 1962 too.' About that time, one of the regulars comes in and sits down at the bar. 'What's been going on?' he asks the barman. 'Nothing much,' replies the barman. 'The O'Malley twins are drunk again.'
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know." The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. "Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks "He can drink?" "Oh, sure. He can drink." So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. "That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?" The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man. The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?" The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time w e were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!