Best Cell Phones

Never refuse any advance of friendship, for if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one alone may repay you.
Author: Madame de Tencin

Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked.
Author: Lord Chesterfield

Never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning.
Author: Anthony Trollope

How do you define God? Like this. A God I could understand, at least potentially, was infinitely more interesting and relevant than one that defied comprehension.
Author: Robert J. Sawyer

No athlete is crowned but in the sweat of his brow.
Author: Saint Jerome

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!' 'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said. 'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes