Best Cell Phones

I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
Author: George Burns

I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things.
Author: Lech Walesa

I'm not judging people, I'm judging their actions. It's the same type of distinction that I try to apply to myself, to judge, but not be judgmental.
Author: Jeff Melvoin

I'm proof against that word failure. I've seen behind it. The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to the purpose he sees to be best.
Author: George Eliot

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Author: Jef Raskin

What insect can be spelled with just one letter? Bee.
This is the joke from a category: Spelling jokes

Can you spell very happy with three letters? XTC (ecstasy).
This is the joke from a category: Spelling jokes

How can you spell too much with two letters? XS (excess).
This is the joke from a category: Spelling jokes

How do you spell elephant ? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t "That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"
This is the joke from a category: Spelling jokes

Why didn't the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren't loose.
This is the joke from a category: Teeth jokes