Best Cell Phones

An envious heart makes a treacherous ear.
Author: Zora Neale Hurston

An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
Author: Benjamin Stolberg

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Author: Simon Cameron

An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run.
Author: Sydney J. Harris

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
Author: Dwight D. Eisenhower

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?" The clerk replies "Canned or frozen?"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting.' Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job, figuring if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. In his first week, the deaf collector picks up more than $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money, and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia boss soon realizes the collection is late and sends some of his thugs after the deaf collector. The thugs drag the guy to an interpreter. The right-hand man says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf collector signs, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the main man, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking abo ut." The main man pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf collector signs, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park just east of the big fountain." The interpreter's eyes light up, and he says to the thug, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. "Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. "What do you say to that?" "Thanks," said the employee. "Thanks?" the boss replied. "Is that all you can say?" "I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes