Best Cell Phones

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.
Author: Terry Pratchett

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
Author: I. F. Stone

If you take care of your character, your reputation will take care of itself.
Author: American Proverb

If you treat people right they will treat you right - ninety percent of the time.
Author: Franklin D. Roosevelt

If you want peace, stop fighting. If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts.
Author: Peter McWilliams

Do hamburgers make good vampires? No, because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!
This is the joke from a category: Burger jokes

What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes

When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this 'unusual' handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears. Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' The guy s aid, 'Now that you mention it, you have no ears.' The man got really upset and threw the guy out. The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' This guy also noticed, 'Yes, you have no ears.' The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out. Then he had the third interview.. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' The guy replied 'Yeah, you're wearing contact lenses.' Surprised, the man then asked, 'Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?' The guy burst out laughing and said, 'Well, You can't wear glasses if you d on't have any ears!'
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

One day there was a family driving in the car to Michigan to visit their relatives. They were looking for the street they had to turn on to get to their relatives house. They accedently turned on the wrong street so they had to pull in a driveway and turn around. When they pulled into the driveway the girl asked her mother "Why dont these people have electricity?" Very confused the mother said, "Wut are u talking about?" The girl quickly replied, "Well, the sign back there said NO OUTLET!"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes