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I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
Author: Caesar Augustus

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
Author: Terry Pratchett

I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.
Author: Mignon McLaughlin

Im good enough, Im smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.
Author: Al Franken

I'm NOT short. I prefer to think there is simply more space above my head for word balloons full of devastatingly pithy witticisms.
Author: R. Stevens

Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving? A: The police.
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?" "Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back. His boss asks what the problem is. "Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress," complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around. Joe asked "what's wrong?" It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired"
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Golfer: "This golf is a funny game." Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes