Best Cell Phones

I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things.
Author: Lech Walesa

I'm not judging people, I'm judging their actions. It's the same type of distinction that I try to apply to myself, to judge, but not be judgmental.
Author: Jeff Melvoin

I'm proof against that word failure. I've seen behind it. The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to the purpose he sees to be best.
Author: George Eliot

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Author: Jef Raskin

In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
Author: F. Scott Fitzgerald

What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ? By her suntan !
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

What is the witches motto ? We came, we saw, we conjured !
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes