Best Cell Phones

I have a problem about being nearly sixty: I keep waking up in the morning and thinking I'm thirty-one.
Author: Elizabeth Janeway

If you can get nothing better out of the world, get a good dinner out of it, at least.
Author: Herman Melville

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
Author: Amy Tan

If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
Author: Unknown

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!" The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!" The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels? Very large ones.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Teacher: I'd like a room, please. Hotel Receptionist: Single, Sir? Teacher: Yes, but I am engaged.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

A police officer was amazed to see a hiker walking along the road carrying a sign which read "To Seattle." "What are you doing with that?" asked the police officer. "I'm walking to Seattle," said the hiker, "and I don't want to lose my way."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Guest: Why did you offer me a piece of candy? Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes