Best Cell Phones

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.
Author: Robert Bakker

Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
Author: Kathleen Norris

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
Author: William Safire

It does not prove a thing to be right because the majority say it is so.
Author: Friedrich von Schiller

If heaven made him, earth can find some use for him.
Author: Chinese Proverb

Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Camper: Heard what? Farmer: Of cows. Camper: Sure I've heard of cows. Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd. Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!
This is the joke from a category: Cow jokes

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't never had one. Never." "Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes