Best Cell Phones

One can pass on responsibility, but not the discretion that goes with it.
Author: Benvenuto Cellini

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
Author: Oscar Wilde

I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
Author: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse.
Author: John Locke

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a viola? A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert. "There's not much room on this page," he said. "What shall I write?" Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint, "Write your repertoire."
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes