Best Cell Phones

If one has no vanity in this life of ours, there is no sufficient reason for living.
Author: Leo Tolstoy

Listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go.
Author: e e cummings

Live all you can - it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven't had that, what have you had?
Author: Henry James

Live well. It is the greatest revenge.
Author: The Talmud

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
Author: W. C. Fields

An airplane pilot dies at the controls. He goes to Hell. The devil takes him to the 'newly arrived' area. There are three doors, marked 1, 2, and 3. The devil tells the pilot that he is going to get to choose his own hell, but first, the devil has to take care of something first, and disappears. The curious pilot looks behind door number one. He sees a pilot going through flight checks for all eternity. He looks behind door number two, and he sees a pilot that forever finds himself trying to resolve emergency situations. He looks behind the last door, and sees a Captain being waited on hand and foot by scantily-clad stewardesses. The devil returns just as the pilot gets back to his waiting position. He offers the pilot a choice of door number one or two. The pilot says, "I wanted door number three!" "Sorry," replies the devil, "that's 'flight attendant's hell'."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, "We have lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it will take 7 hours to get to New York." A little later, the pilot announced, "A second engine failed, but we still have two left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New York." Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, "A third engine had died. Never fear, because the plane can fly on a single engine. However, it will now take 18 hours to get to new York." At this point, one passenger said, "Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel." Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!" Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

Tower: Shamu two-two, please state estimated time of arrival. Pilot: Ok, let's see..., I think Tuesday would be nice...
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems? Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass. Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel..
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes