Best quotes to send by SMS
William Penn If men will not be governed by God, they will be ruled by tyrants.
Author: William Penn

Joseph Addison It is folly for an eminent person to think of escaping censure, and a weakness to be affected by it. All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but ob
Author: Joseph Addison

Lewis Carroll It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward.
Author: Lewis Carroll

Roberto Benigni It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.
Author: Roberto Benigni

Dr. Rob Gilbert It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.
Author: Dr. Rob Gilbert

The best jokes to send by SMS
Dinosaur jokes Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? A: Down in the mouth!
This is the joke from a category: Dinosaur jokes

Dirty jokes The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Divorce jokes Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce, they keep the house.
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

Doctor and nurse jokes The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."
This is the joke from a category: Doctor and nurse jokes

Dog jokes A man is walking down the street when he hears a voice, "Pssst you come over here!" He looks round and can see no one but an old mangy greyhound. "yes over here!" Said the greyhound "Look at me I'm tied up here, I should be racing I won 14 races in my carrer you know?" The man thought to himself "Oh my god a talking dog, I have to have it, it will make me rich, tv appearances cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the owner. He found the owner and said "I'd like to buy your dog, is he for sale??" The owner says "No mate you don't want that old moth eaten thing!" "But I do!" Insisted the man "I'lll give you 1000 pounds for him. "Ok said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing over the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied "Because that dogs a bloody liar it's never won a race in it's life!"
This is the joke from a category: Dog jokes