Best Cell Phones

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Author: Burt Bacharach

A technical objection is the first refuge of a scoundrel.
Author: Heywood Broun

A thought is often original, though you have uttered it a hundred times.
Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes

A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.
Author: Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight.
Author: Robertson Davies

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in the oven.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. "Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes

Q: How did a blind man meet his wife? A: On a blind date!
This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? One can't see to go, the other can't go to sea.
This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes