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The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
Author: Voltaire

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Author: Lucille Ball

How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

The sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
Author: Baltasar Gracian

The speed of the boss is the speed of the team.
Author: Lee Iacocca

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see." A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?" The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please ! I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300." "Easy, Dad," the boy replied. "I earned it hiking." "Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth." "That is the truth," the boy replied. "Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes