Best Cell Phones

I am always afraid of your "something shall be done."
Author: Titus Maccius Plautus

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.
Author: Book of Common Prayer

We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
Author: Oscar Wilde

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Author: Michael Pritchard

Nothing will come of nothing.
Author: William Shakespeare

Teenage Driver: But, officer, I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !
This is the joke from a category: Cow jokes

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

Q. What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster? A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes