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You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren.
Author: William Henry Hudson

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.
Author: Max Beerbohm

The art of being bored is lost.
Author: Ted Klauber

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
Author: Evan Esar

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
Author: Darrin Weinberg

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp? Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

"Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings.." "OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions. There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist. The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldn't be killed. The microbiologist (who studied bacteria) talked for 1 minute 59 seconds explaining that he studies bacteria, bacteria are model organisms for the study of genetics and physiology etc. etc. and finished with an emotional, bacteria-laden plea which had the hijacker in tears. When he was done, they turned to the yeast geneticist who said, "let me explain to you why yeast genetics is an important discipline..." but he was interrupted by the microbiologist who exclaimed "Shoot me! Shoot me!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

"I've never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. "You will bring me down safely, won't you? "All I can say ma'am," said the pilot, "is that I've never left anyone up there yet!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes