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Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in.
Author: Katherine Mansfield

Only the wise possess ideas; the greater part of mankind are possessed by them.
Author: Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Many receive advice, few profit by it.
Author: Publilius Syrus

Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest of violence.
Author: Francis Jeffrey

Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.
Author: Jose Ortega y Gasset

Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn't find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn't help it." "Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wif e. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. "Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!" Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. "Look, Bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your fat head?" "Oh, I know! I just can't hear it enough!"
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu! Didn't I see you yesterday?
This is the joke from a category: Doctor and nurse jokes