Best Cell Phones

Life is the only real counselor; wisdom unfiltered through personal experience does not become a part of the moral tissue.
Author: Edith Wharton

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
Author: William Goldman

Hope is necessary in every condition.
Author: Samuel Johnson

If one has no vanity in this life of ours, there is no sufficient reason for living.
Author: Leo Tolstoy

Listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go.
Author: e e cummings

What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

What's the difference between a worm and an apple ? Have you ever tried worm pie ?!
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

The Captain was Jewish, and the new First Officer was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, " I don't like Chinese. " The F.O. replied, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why is that? " The Captain said, " You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese. " The F.O. said, " Nooooo, noooo ... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That JAPANESE, not Chinese. " And the Captain answered, " Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... it doesn't matter. They're all alike. " Another 30 minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer said, " No like Jew. " The Captain replied, " Why not? Why don't you like Jews? " " Jews sink Titanic. " Said the F.O. The Captain tried to correct him, " No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg. " " Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg .. no mattah .. all same "
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

An airline stewardess was giving the standard safety briefing to the passengers. She had just finished saying 'In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device,' when a man remarked, "Hey! If the plane can't fly, why should I believe the seat can float?"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade. When they got back on the ground they were walking down the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up to ask her why she was crying she said "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to here that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was another woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they walk up to her and asked her why she was crying she said "A brick fell from the sky, land- ed on my dog , and now my dog is dead." The men said they were very sorry to hear that and walked away. The next house they came across a little further down the road there was a man laughing his head off. Wondering what was so funny they went up to ask him. After they asked him he replied, "I bent over to get the news paper this morning , I farted and my whole house blew up!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes