Best Cell Phones

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Author: Bertrand Russell

The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it.
Author: Ayn Rand

The peace of heaven is theirs that lift their swords, in such a just and charitable war.
Author: William Shakespeare

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
Author: Frank Herbert

I believe that uncertainty is really my spirit's way of whispering, "I'm in flux. I can't decide for you. Something is off-balance here."
Author: Oprah Winfrey

Short-sighted sarge: "Attention! You also, you little one in the back row with the red cap!" "But sarge, that's a hydrant!" Sarge:"Anyway, in this place academics have to obey as well."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Sargeant Williams was the newest drill instructor at AOCS, Aviation Officer Candidate School and as such was always trying to impress his company commander and the other officers in the Command. Daily he was seen jumping all over his officer candidates and yelling at them as he supposedly developed them into future Naval Officers. We were lined up behind his company awaiting our turn to go into the mess hall for lunch. We all listened as Sargeant Williams yelled at his company, " you will eat in a military fashion, enjoy this delicious meal and fall by in formation at 1215, do you worms understand me?" "Yes drill sargeant." "There are only three rules in this galley, shut up, eat up and get up, do you pukes understand me?" "Yes drill sargeant." "Then proceed. Company forward march." When they got inside, they were surprised to see several Miss Florida contestants getting a tour of the mess hall. Not one to let an opportunity slip by the drill sargeant yelled at the top of his lungs, " bravo company what is the first rule of the mess hall?" To his chagrin, his company all yelled out in unison, "shut up drill sargeant!"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But When two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' --- that did it."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes