Best Cell Phones

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
Author: Finley Peter Dunne

Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.
Author: Oscar Wilde

Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve.
Author: Chinese Proverb

O Winter! ruler of the inverted year, . . . I crown thee king of intimate delights, Fireside enjoyments, home-born happiness, And all the comforts that the lowly roof Of undisturb'd Retirement, and the hours Of long uninterrupted evening, know.
Author: William Cowper

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock The meat it feeds on.
Author: William Shakespeare

A little boy went into a baker's' 'How much are those cakes ? he asked 'Two for 25 cents,' said the baker ' How much does one cost ?' asked the boy '13 cents,' said the baker 'Then I'll take the other one for 12 cents !' said the boy
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said,' Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.' Bill wasn't impressed, ' Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it !
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. ' Oh you're so stupid!' shouted Dick. 'Dick!' said their father, 'that's quite enough of that! Now say you're sorry.' 'OK,' said Dick. 'Jane, I'm sorry you're stupid.'
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

'Mum,' yelled Johnny from the kitchen, 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?' 'Yes dear, what about it ?' 'Well your worries are over.'
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain,' she said. 'I hope your first name is not Agnate ?' 'No, it's velvet !'
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes