Best Cell Phones

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
Author: Oscar Wilde

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or time or fortune, but just yourself that kept things from you.
Author: Lillian Hellman

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.
Author: Rodin

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.
Author: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

What do you call a mayfly with a criminal tendencies ? Baddy long legs !
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?" The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?" "Ya, that vill be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?" The German replies, "Vhy, ya." The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped , "No! We think you are trying to escape!"
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type here."
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes," said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

What is the difference between a dancer and a duck? One goes quick on her beautiful legs, the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes