Best Cell Phones

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield

My work is a game, a very serious game.
Author: M. C. Escher

Nature is not cruel, pitiless, indifferent. This is one of the hardest lessons for humans to learn. We cannot admit that things might be neither good nor evil, neither cruel nor kind, but simply callous -- indifferent to all suffering, lacking all purpose
Author: Richard Dawkins

Necessity has no law.
Author: William Langland

Neither cast ye your pearls before swine.
Author: Bible

Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who dropped out of nursing school? A: She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the Hymenlick Manuever.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman. When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said "when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom. So the black haired woman went down and shouted "money" and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted "gorgous men!" and landed in a pile of men. The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting weeeeeee.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes