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Be a fountain, not a drain.
Author: Rex Hudler

Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep; for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as by the latter.
Author: Paxton Hood

Be careful -- with quotations, you can damn anything.
Author: Andre Malraux

Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.
Author: Aesop

Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any.
Author: Arthur Wellesley

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm." "Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting tired of 7-Up!"
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

Arvil was coming out of the Texas University student building when he was stopped by two coeds. "Would you like to become a Jehovah's Witness?" asked one of the girls. "No, I really couldn't. I didn't see the accident."
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

Soderling, the star college halfback, was taking a math exam. The coach desperately needed him to play in the Syracuse game on Saturday, so the professor agreed to give him an oral exam. "All right," said the prof. "How many degrees are there in a circle?" "Uh, depends," said the boy. "How big is that there circle?"
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

What's the difference between an American student and an English student ? About 3000 miles !
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, okay," responded the kid. So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, her husband asked, "Well how much did you give the boy his time?" She said, "Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him." "That's $1020!" yelled her husband. Are you crazy?" "Don't worry, Hon," she said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!"
This is the joke from a category: College jokes