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I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

My life is the story of a man who always wants to carry too much. My spiritual quest is the painful process of learning to let go of things not essential.
Author: Real Live Preacher

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Author: Mark Twain

My name is Legion.
Author: Bible

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say "No".
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes