Best Cell Phones

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.
Author: Art Linkletter

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
Author: Bernard Bailey

When a whole nation is roaring Patriotism at the top of its voice, I am fain to explore the cleanness of its hands and purity of its heart.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

I would fain die a dry death.
Author: William Shakespeare

Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." "And what does that mean to you?" "Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife." "What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter. "My wife."
This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes

Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw ? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day. He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day. The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was. The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Where would you put an injured insect ? In an antbulance !
This is the joke from a category: Insect jokes