Best Cell Phones

It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.
Author: Queen Christina

They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end.
Author: Bible

They say you just stand over there, he'll say thank you and you walk back off and that's what I thought was gonna happen, but in my head, I had for five or six years known that he was gonna call me over.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

They think too little who talk too much.
Author: John Dryden

They wonder much to hear that gold, which in itself is so useless a thing, should be everywhere so much esteemed, that even men for whom it was made, and by whom it has its value, should yet be thought of less value than it is.
Author: Sir Thomas More

Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Al Gore. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations." "Donations!" I said, "How much you got so far?" He said "about ten gallons."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, "What will you take....30 days or $30." The man replied, "I think I'll take the money."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop. After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little. The gentleman said 'Stop or slow down, what's the difference?'. The cop pulled the guy out of the car and hit him with a nightstick for about a minute and then said, 'Would you like for me to stop or just slow down?'
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the scotch to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes