Best Cell Phones

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
Author: John Cleese

I hate music, especially when it's played.
Author: Jimmy Durante

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Author: Hunter S. Thompson

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Author: Jackie Mason

I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning.
Author: Plato

How did the little pig win at Monopoly? He built hotels on Pork Place.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes

How does a pig write home? With a pig pen.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes

Is lunch the favorite subject of piglets? No, it's theatre. They love to ham It up and hog all the attention.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes

Pigs don't look very smart to me. Sure, they are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse out of a farmer's ear?
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes

The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off their plates.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes