Best Cell Phones

It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one part of your life starts looking up, another falls to pieces.
Author: Helen Fielding

That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
Author: William J. H. Boetcker

That's the secret of entertaining. You make your guests feel welcome and at home. If you do that honestly, the rest takes care of itself.
Author: Barbara Hall

That's what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.
Author: Simone de Beauvoir

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
Author: Henry Kissinger

Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll? Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What cake wanted to rule the world? Attila the Bun.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake...
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin? No more, mom. It's empty.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg? First it goes ping, then it goes pong.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes