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Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
Author: Colin Powell

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
Author: H. L. Mencken

Pity is the virtue of the law, and none but tyrants use it cruelly.
Author: William Shakespeare

Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.
Author: Edna St. Vincent Millay

I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate.
Author: Arthur Wing Pinero

A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it." The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow, and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." A ninety-year-old man was accused of raping a twenty-year-old. "So, did you do it?" his lawyer asked. "Of course not," the old man replied. "But I was so flattered, I pleaded guilty."
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

While participating is the Olympics a young gymnast had her first sexual experience, going to bed with a stunning foreign participant. Upon returning to her hometown, she promptly went to confession. After receiving absolution, the gymnast was so delighted that she did cartwheels down the aisle to the door. Waiting her turn, Old Mrs. Ole said to her friend, "can you believe what Father Johnson is giving for penance? Of all the days for me not to be wearing panties."
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI? A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes