Best Cell Phones

The higher the buildings, the lower the morals.
Author: Noel Coward

How nice--to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
Author: Kurt Vonnegut

I'd the upbringing a nun would envy and that's the truth. Until I was fifteen I was more familiar with Africa than my own body.
Author: Joe Orton

The idea of legally establishing inalienable, inherent and sacred rights of the individual is not of political but religious origin.
Author: George Jellinek

I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
Author: Abraham Lincoln

Jett was trying to light a match. He struck the first one and it didn't work, so he threw it away. He struck the second match. That didn't work either, so he tossed it. Jett struck the third one and it lit up. "That's a good one!" said the idiot, blowing it out. "Ah'm gonna save it!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Mayne and Willard, two idiots, were in a rowboat on a lake fishing. Suddenly the spray from a motorboat racing by flooded their boat. "How we gonna get the water out?" asked Mayne. "Easy," said Willard. "We just bore a hole in the bottom of the boat and let the water drain out." The men drilled a hole in the bottom, and more water started rushing in. "Wait a minute!" exclaimed Mayne. "We need another hole so's the water comin' in through the first one has a place to go back into the lake!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle neck sweater? To hide his flea collar.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes