Best Cell Phones

Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.
Author: Bible

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.
Author: Tallulah Bankhead

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
Author: Will Rogers

High thoughts must have high language.
Author: Aristophanes

His house was perfect, whether you liked food, or sleep, or work, or story-telling, or singing, or just sitting and thinking, best, or a pleasant mixture of them all.
Author: J. R. R. Tolkien

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but finally found nothing wrong with the man. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife".
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." His wife say, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Carribean?" He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes