Best Cell Phones

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Author: Mark Twain

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Author: Dave Barry

Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.
Author: Mahatma Gandhi

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Author: Phyllis Diller

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Author: Mark Twain

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, "Are you ready to order?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie." "A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu." She walks away. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: What does Clinton do to lose weight? A: Runs away from the draft.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: Why is Bill Clinton called "middle of the road Democrat"? A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? A: Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election? A: It's gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes