Best Cell Phones

Our deeds are like children that are born to us; they live and act apart from our own will. Nay, children may be strangled, but deeds never: they have an indestructible life both in and out of our consciousness.
Author: George Eliot

Our envy of others devours us most of all.
Author: Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Our government is the potent, the omnipresent teacher. For good or ill, it teaches the whole people by its example.
Author: Louis D. Brandeis

Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
Author: Charles F. Kettering

Let each man exercise the art he knows.
Author: Aristophanes

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's you're name?" "Sam," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs? He was always horsing around.
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

It was Rocky's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with his meager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of his cell, Rocky heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block erupted into laughter! Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter. A third voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block. Rocky didn't know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall. "Yeah, whaddaya want?" came the gruff reply from next door. "What's going on, here?" asked Rocky. "Well," said the other inmate, "down in the prison library there's only one joke book. We've all read the book so many times that we don't waste time telling the joke, we just call out it's number." So the next day Rocky went down to the library and, sure enough, found r the yellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover. That night, wanting to be part of the group, Rocky confidently called out "44" and everyone laughed! He tried calling "16" and "62" and again there were peals of laughter. Then he called 57, and the halls rang with laughter. After several minutes, one prisoner was still rolling on the floor laughing. More minutes - still laughing. Rocky rapped on the cell wall. "Yeah, waddaya want?" asked the other inmate. "I don't understand it," asked Rocky, "Why is Bill still laughing?" "Well," said the gruff inmate, "He never heard that one before!"
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies? A Killergran.
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes