Best Cell Phones

A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one.
Author: Alexander Hamilton

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.
Author: Edmond de Goncourt

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.
Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes

A person who forgoes the use of his symbolic skills is never really free.
Author: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Author: George Wald

Dan had been studying whales for over 20 years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regarding their communication. He had managed to decode many of their underwater sounds and to translate them into English. His latest research had proved that they can communicate over a distance of 300 miles. When asked what could they possibly have to say at such distances he replied, "As best as we can figure, it is something like - Hey, can you hear me now?
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

A University had advertised for two biologists to help in their mammalogy department, specifically with a group of captive grizzly bears. They had only two applicants - a beautiful young women biologist and an older male biologist. The mammalogist in charge of the project knew that not everyone can handle working with such fierce creatures so he decided to test their skills with the bears. The two hopefuls followed him out to the bear pen. He first asked the young women to show him what she could do. She entered the cage, stripped down to her bikini, and the largest bear walked up and nuzzled her bare legs. The astonished mammalogist then said to the old man, "Can you do that?" "You're darn right I can," said the old man, "just get that bear out of there first !"
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese. They were particularly interested in applying for a $100,000 Federal grant to investigate the "V" formation of goose flight. It had been observed that one side of the "V" is always longer than the other side. This group would put together a research proposal to apply for the $100,000 grant and hopefully find out why this happens. To start off the discussion, Todd, the Consulting Firm Biologist stands up and says in typical consultant fashion, "I say we ask for $200,000, and attempt to model the wind drag coefficients. We can have our geologists record and map the ground topography and then our staff meteorologists can predict potential updraft currents. Our internal CAD department can then produce 3-d drawings of the predicted wing tip vortices. Then, after several years of study, our in-house publications department could produce a nice thick report full of charts and graphs." The Senior Research Biologist, a professor at the local university, cleared his throat and responded, "No, no!, That's not it at all. We only need $150,000. We can train a group of domesticated geese to fly in formations of equal length and then compare their relative fitness to wild geese. We can then publish the results in the Journal of Wildlife Management. About then, the hardworking field biologist stands up and begins walking for the door. "Where are you going?" the group asks. "I'm leaving" he replies, "I've heard enough. No one has to give me $100,000 to find out that the reason one side of the "V" is longer is simply because there are more damn geese on that side!"
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

A couple of biologists had twins. One they called John and the other control.
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes