
If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of other people.
Author: Oriental Proverb
Poetry should please by a fine excess and not by singularity. It should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts, and appear almost as a remembrance.
Author: John Keats
You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren.
Author: William Henry Hudson
You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.
Author: Max Beerbohm
The art of being bored is lost.
Author: Ted Klauber

A small two-seater Cessna
152 plane
crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central
Poland. Polish
search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far
and
expect that number to climb as digging continues into the
evening.
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf
of my
crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight
602 from
New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of
35,000 feet
midway across the Atlantic.
"If you look out of
the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
you will observe
that both the starboard engines are on fire.
"If you look out of
the windows on the port side, you will observe
that the port wing
has fallen off.
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you
will see a little
yellow life raft with three people in it waving
at you.
"That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the
air
stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
A
blind man was describing his favorite
sport, parachuting. When asked
how this was accomplished, he said
that things were all done for him: "I
am placed in the door with my
seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My
hand is placed on my
release ring for me and out I go with the dog."
"But how do you know
when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I
have a very keen sense
of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass
when I am 300 feet
from the ground" he answered.
"But how do you know when to lift
your legs for the final arrival on
the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's
leash goes slack."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and
nephews. However, she had
relatives all over the country.
The
problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she
hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always
worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read
books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess
demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly
every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided
that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd
be convinced. So they sent
her to a friend of the family who was an
actuary.
"Tell
me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone
will
have a bomb on a plane?"
The actuary looked through his tables
and said, "A very small chance.
Maybe one in five hundred thousand."
She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the o
dds of two
people having a bomb on the same plane?"
Again
he went through his tables.
"Extremely remote," he said. "About
one in a billion."
Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office.
And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb with
her.
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
An airline captain was breaking in a very
pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a
stay-over in
another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the
stewardess
the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and
stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the
crew for the day's
route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.
He knew which room she
was in at the hotel and called her up
wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, sobbing, and said
she couldn't get out of her
room.
"You can't get out of
your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied,
"There are only three doors in here, "she
cried," one is the
bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it
that says 'Do Not
Disturb'!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes