Best Cell Phones

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.
Author: Mario Andretti

If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other.
Author: Carl Schurz

If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city.
Author: Charles Caleb Colton

If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself: 'I used to be angry every day; then every other day; now only every third or fourth day.' When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods.
Author: Epictetus

If you would stand well with a great mind, leave him with a favorable impression of yourself; if with a little mind, leave him with a favorable impression of himself.
Author: Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my soup. Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small appetites !
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu: Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasn't the crust, that was the pie plate.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes