Best Cell Phones

We don't get offered crises, they arrive.
Author: Elizabeth Janeway

I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to.
Author: Pamela Anderson

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong -- because someday you will have been all of these.
Author: George Washington Carver

I am always afraid of your "something shall be done."
Author: Titus Maccius Plautus

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.
Author: Book of Common Prayer

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes